It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most? What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.
*************************************
 Blonde Father
A blonde guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a
baby. One day, the wife started having  contractions, so the husband rushed
her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In
the end, there were two little baby boys.

The blonde guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the
other father?"
**************************************************
Jack had a blind date with Jill for the prom and, as the evening progressed,
he found himself more and more attracted to her. After some really passionate
embracing, he said, "Tell me, do you object to  making love?" 

"That is
something I have never done before," Jill  replied. "Never made love? You
mean you are a virgin?" Jack was amazed. 

"No, silly!" she giggled. "I've
never objected!"

************************************************** You are very special to me so I am passing
 this on to you.  It Worked for me... I think I've found inner peace.

 My therapist told me a way to achieve inner peace was to finish things I had started. Today I finished 2 bags of
 potato chips, a lemon pie, a bottle of white wine and a small box of chocolate candy. I feel better already.
*************************************************

 Powdering My Nose!

A little boy and girl are playing in a sandbox. The little boy has to go to take to the bathroom and he was told by his mother to always be polite and don't talk about private matters in public.

At first he holds it in for a little while because he does not now what to say to the little girl to excuse himself. Then he remembers what his Mom had said at the restaurant to excuse herself from the table.

So he turns to the little girl and says, "Will you excuse me I have to go powder my nose."

And saying that he leaps out of the sandbox and runs to the washroom.

When he comes back the little girl looks up at him and asks, "Did you powder your nose?"

"Yes," said the little boy stepping back into the sandbox.

"Well then," says the little girl, "You'd better close your purse because your lipstick is hanging out." ************************************************************
7 DEGREES OF BLONDE

ONE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.  The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said,"How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.  The husband said, "Who was that?"  The wife said, "I don't know; some woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear."

TWO
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact.  The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

THREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells,"No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

FOUR
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK,what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

FIVE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?   "Is it mine?"

SIX
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.  Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and as applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.  "My God!" the trooper gasped.  "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant.  Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer , I'm just fine" the blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.  "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me.  So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was...."

"Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

SEVEN
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.  As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.  Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen.  I call the police for help, and what do they do?  They send me a BLIND policeman!"