Morning starts AFTER the sun is up, not when you THINK it's coming up
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Mummy is right, Orange juice in your cereal makes the milk taste really nasty.

Falling is fun. Landing is not. Stitches are even less fun.

Mummy was right, climbing the stairs while wearing roller skates is not a good idea. Staples don't feel any nicer than Stitches.

Rabbits bite when squeezed and so do guinea pigs.

Baby brothers are very noisy when woken suddenly by bursting a balloon.

Mummy is very noisy when babies are suddenly woken up by a burst balloon

Daddy’s are squeamish. Best to take the bloody nose, bloody foot, bloody knees and elbows to Mummy.

Tell mummy when your “neck hurts” so she can pull the car over and you can throw up OUTSIDE.

Wear jeans while scooting along on your bottom on the old wooden deck. A swimming costume is not enough protection and Mummy's getting tired of pulling splinters out of the tush.

Pond water doesn’t taste very good going down or coming back up.

Daddy’s are squeamish. Ask Mummy to take you to the hospital when you get a tick in the back of your neck.

Toys stuffed in the bottom of the toilet makes daddies shout a lot. Toys shoved in the toilet when you're child number three make Daddies yell something that sounds like "Should have gotten a Vasectomy!".

Cats have sharp claws when tails are pulled.

Watch where you are stepping when the baby is potty training him/herself.

Mummies yell a lot when Babies are potty training themselves and when it's the fourth baby, Mummies cry alot.

Mummies are not as fascinated by slugs as you are. In fact Mummies start to shout a bit.

Mummies don’t think that slugs make good body jewelry. Slug Body Jewelry can get you tossed into the tub pretty quick.

Mummies also disagree that slugs make good pets and finding slug trails on your floor or bed is not going to make Mummy happy either.

Barbies make good hammers.

Babies are not good nails.

Daddies are fun to play with, Mummies are nice to cuddle with.

Mummies and Daddies become cheerful at fifteen minutes before bed time.

Mummies and Daddies become cranky at 45 minutes past bedtime, after the request for the nightlight, for daddy to come kill the spider, the complaint that the sleeping baby is keeping you awake, your bad dreams that woke you up and at the ninth request for water.

Cheers!
Kathleen Petrides